Princess HaHa

When she was nine years old her mother told her she was related to royalty. She believed it willingly and immediately embellished the concept because she wanted more than anything to be a princess. This wonderful secret gave her a delicious sense of power over her fourth grade peers who largely ignored her when they weren’t teasing her. Her new perspective gave her the composure to smile serenely when picked last for kickball (though her lack of athletic abilities warranted this humiliation). And though she had always found adequate solace in her imaginary friends, the enlightenment of her true royal self became a deep well-spring of strength. Insulated by this armor, she could hold her head up high, no matter what indignity the world might try to inflict.

For several months into the school year, she was quite content to live the regal, solitary life of a long lost blueblood, until, one day, when the superior person of Miss Margaret Cooper made a disparaging remark about homemade dresses. As the damning words escaped her mouth, the scrawny, blonde urchin, dressed in a handcrafted blue gingham dress, watched herself, as though out of body, tell her tormenter that she obviously didn’t know she was making fun of a real princess whose lineage reached across the ocean to the English throne.

For an instant, Margaret’s blank expression offered hope that the words had been believed, or better yet, not heard at all. And then, Margaret Cooper turned on her patent leather heels, hailed down the nearest infidels and, as the horrified wannabe princess watched helplessly from behind a lanky Texas pine, spilled the treasured secret out like dirty mop water on the dusty playground. By the time the task was complete, the entire fourth grade was fully informed that the least one among their ranks believed she was a princess. This included the teacher, Mr. Blackman, who had, by chance, just recently notified her mother, "she daydreams too much". Mr. Blackman, being less than sympathetic with the delicate nature of the nine year old psyche, promptly made a joke of the whole thing by bestowing on her, like a crown of thorns, the title, "Princess HaHa."

A lesson hard-earned is a lesson well-learned. And though it took many years to live down her new nickname, she would never forget the first rule of royalty- which is -never, ever, no matter how persistent they are, let the Margaret Coopers of the world get past your royal guard.