Makinghome.com

It had to happen, sooner or later. Within days of each other, I have been the honored recipient of hate email. The initial one was a succinct note admonishing me to engage myself to "helping people, instead of this nonsense". The sender also chastised me for having "too much time on my hands". Since I did not recognize the sender's addy, I have no way of knowing if it was someone I am acquainted with or not. Or if it was just a passer-through who had nothing better to do than pass judgment on me and my life based on reading a few pages in my website.

I was, as any human might, sorely tempted to craft a clever response full of weighty barbs and indignant rebuttal. I even conferred with some friends about it. Like one would expect good friends to do, they gave me the pats and reassurances that I was fishing for to sooth my wounds so I let the whole thing die without responding at all.

Then, one day, out of the blue, I received an email that made my jaw drop. This one, from an incredibly and obviously bitter woman who objected to an essay on my website written by a contributing author. Apparently she knows this person and wanted me to remove the essay because she hates him and blames him for a tragedy that occurred eighteen years ago. She ended her vilifying diatribe against the object of her obsession, by admonishing me to, at the least, post her letter as a response to the essay, should I decide not to remove it.

For the next few days, the issues I wrestled with provided a completely new experience for me. How to deal with this woman's demand? And ultimately the fact that it was a demand and not a very diplomatic one at that, was what made me set my mind to ignore her. I reasoned that my web site is, afterall, not an open forum. I felt I had no obligation, whatsoever, to give this acrimonious person a chance to spew her hatred into the fairly upbeat atmosphere of my cyber domain. Furthermore, and perhaps more to the point, if I folded to her, what else might I have to give in to? What if someone lost a loved one on a snow day and emailed me accusing me of being insensitive demanding that I remove Snow Day from Meema's Porch? What if another emailed me and decided he/she was offended by Paper or Attitude or Black Truth? I conclude that I am in no way obliged to please everyone, if that were even possible, and with that rationale I decided to keep the essay up, patch up my bruised psyche and forget about it.

And then I find another love note from the bitter woman who has now ascribed the 666 number of satan to the author of the essay she wants me to delete. But this time she tries a new tactic by playing her "Christian" card to coerce me to see it her way. She determined that I couldn't possibly be a good mother or grandmother and claimed "When a tragedy strikes your family, I will expect to see how wonderful everyone is on the other side of your fence. I will be praying for you that God will grant you compassion and wisdom."

I'm sorry but I cannot help but wonder, where is her compassion and wisdom? I'm thinking this poor soul needs a mirror. She needs to see the hatred and bile she has hoarded for nearly two decades and how ugly it has made her. She needs to know that calling oneself a Christian is not the same as being a Christian. We are not Christians because of what we do or don't do. We are Christians for who we are. We are Christians because we seek Christ to guide us in the way He wishes us to go. Last time I checked Jesus was not into us hating others for any reason. In fact, He said in Matthew 5:43-45

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love that neighbor and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. That ye may be the children of our Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust"

Sounds pretty straightforward to me so I don't think this needs theological interpretation. In a nutshell we are asked to let go of our debts. How many times do we chant the Lord's Prayer like a mantra? How many times do we say and still not hear the words "and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"? And what about Proverbs 10:12? "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins."

You see, I can trump her Christian card with Scripture. There are many others. The oft quoted, "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord" is the first to come to mind. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is another. The New Testament is full of good advise for those who would like to follow Christ and thereby call themselves Christians. Unfortunately, there are many so-called Christians who will one day be turned away when they cry "Lord, Lord!" And He replies, "I never knew you". Do you suppose it will be because they never tried to know Him? You don't have to be a Bible scholar to know hate is not from God.

I feel terribly bad for this person and the other emailer who both seem to reside in a hell of their own devising. And isn't this what hate does after all is said and done? It stirs up strife. It causes pain. It grows like cancer until it takes over and kills. It tears down instead of builds up. It divides and conquers. It ruins and devastates. When hate is given a home in an otherwise good heart, goodness atrophies. But unfortunately, when one has chosen to nurture hate instead of plant forgiveness, they can never see themselves as others do, and certainly not as Christ does. That's the other insidious nature of hate, it easily slips in like a parasite often disguised as righteous indignation or pious hurt and then quietly takes root. In the dark corners where hate is allowed to flourish, a sweet but noxious poison of "self" blooms and suddenly, one day, the power that could just as easily have been given to love becomes owned outright by a force that lives to do nothing but destroy. By the time it is obvious, it is often too late. Damage done beyond repair. And then after all is said and done, what is gained? What was lost?

To anyone who would email me with hateful personal agendas, I say to you, I choose not to step into the trap. But I will pray for you to find compassion and wisdom and freedom from the demon that holds your soul hostage. Of course, those who would be compelled to send hate email will not see themselves. The worse, most diabolical thing parasidic hate does is fog the mirror of self-examinaton and whisper to its host, "you have a right to hate."

Hate